Learning to Move Forward Without Fighting Yourself with Vanessa Barton, CSW
Vanessa Barton, CSW
Adults, Women, Men
ACT, EMDR Trained
An ACT-Informed Approach to Healing
Many of the adults I work with come to therapy feeling exhausted—not just from what they’ve been through, but from how hard they’ve been trying to “fix” themselves. They’ve spent years pushing away painful thoughts, suppressing emotions, or telling themselves they should be stronger by now. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
One of the core ideas behind Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is that suffering often grows when we are in a constant battle with our inner experiences. Anxiety, sadness, intrusive thoughts, or memories from the past aren’t signs that something is wrong with you; they’re part of being human. The work isn’t about getting rid of them entirely, but about learning how to relate to them differently.
In therapy, I often help clients begin to notice how much energy goes into avoiding discomfort. While avoidance can offer short-term relief, over time it can shrink our lives—keeping us from relationships, opportunities, and moments that truly matter. ACT invites a different path: one rooted in acceptance, awareness, and choice.
Acceptance doesn’t mean approval, and it doesn’t mean giving up. It means allowing thoughts and emotions to be present without letting them control your actions. When we stop fighting ourselves, we often find we have more space to breathe and more freedom to move forward.
Another important part of ACT is clarifying values. Many people feel lost not because they don’t know what to do, but because they’ve been disconnected from what matters most to them. Together, we explore questions like: What kind of person do you want to be? What do you want your life to stand for? From there, we focus on small, meaningful steps that align with those values even when discomfort shows up along the way.
For clients impacted by trauma or distressing past experiences, I also incorporate EMDR therapy as I work toward EMDR certification. EMDR can help reduce the emotional intensity of memories that continue to affect the present, allowing healing to happen in a way that feels grounded and empowering. When combined with ACT, this approach supports both deep emotional processing and practical, values-based change.
I believe healing isn’t about becoming someone new it’s about reconnecting with who you already are beneath the pain, fear, and self-doubt. Therapy can be a place where you learn to meet yourself with more compassion, build resilience, and move toward a life that feels more authentic and fulfilling.
If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Support is available, and meaningful change is possible one gentle step at a time.